He Wants a Ride Back In a Cobra

One of the things we often did in the military was “dog and pony shows”. For those who don’t know what a dog and pony show is I will tell you. It’s where you put on a show for the press, the public, or the “higher-ups”. It isn’t anything like the missions we train for or even realistic but it makes people happy. They get to hear the noise or the helicopters and certainly that should make anyone happy.

While stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, we had many dog and pony shows. On one occasion we flew for cameras to film us. I have no idea what it was going to be used for. Our job was just to do what we were told. The entire unit with all of the platoons was involved. As I recall there were six Cobra helicopters, six Scout helicopters and six lift helicopters involved.

The mission was to fly to Gray Army Airfield, which was only about twelve miles away and follow directions when we got there. We spent the entire afternoon getting into different flight formations and flying by the cameras. Each platoon flew by at different times and at different altitudes and in a variety of formations. Then near the end of the afternoon we started making a series of flights by with all eighteen helicopters together. After each flight we landed and waited for new instructions.

As the afternoon wore on we all got ready to get out of there and go home. It was Friday and we all wanted to have a nice weekend. Finally at six in the evening we were told we were done and we could fly back to Fort Hood. That’s all we needed to hear and we were ready to blast out of there.

Before putting the helicopters away we always had to refuel them. At Fort Hood we normally refueled “hot”. That means that we kept the helicopters running and landed on a fueling pad and one pilot got out of the aircraft and pumped the fuel into the aircraft while the other pilot stayed in the aircraft. Under normal conditions this went pretty quickly. Well, it went quickly if there weren’t too many aircraft all trying to refuel at the same time on the three or four pads that were for refueling. Normally we tried to stagger our arrivals at the refueling station so we didn’t have to sit and wait. Now there were going to be eighteen helicopters all wanting fuel at the same time.

I was not a rookie and knew that refueling was going to be a problem. That also meant that I knew that the first helicopters at the fueling station would get their fuel pretty quick but those that arrived last would wait a long time to get an open fuel pad. The radio call came to all three flights of helicopters at the same time.

I led the Cobra flight. Instantly when receiving the radio call that we were released, I turned my radio selector to another radio and told the Cobra pilots to bring their aircraft up to full speed because we were blasting out of there and we were going to be the first to the fuel station. Next I called the tower for clearance to take my flight out of there. My calls were before the other flights had a chance to react and the tower cleared us to hover out to the runway and takeoff.

Just as we arrived at the runway and were getting ready to takeoff I received a radio call from our operations, which had been running the dog and pony show. They instructed me to hover back to the area where we had been parked. My response was in the form of a question and I asked why I needed to do that. They said that Lieutenant Colonel Wall, our squadron commander, wanted to ride back in a Cobra. He normally rode in one of the Scout helicopters or in one of the lift helicopters. They have seats for passengers and Cobras do not. The only Cobra helicopter he could ride in was mine. Because I was an instructor pilot I was authorized to take non-aviators up in Cobras. The other pilots could only do it with special permission.

As the flight of six Cobras hovered back to the temporary operations site the other two flights hovered out to the runway for their takeoffs. It looked like we would be last at the fuel station for sure now. My copilot in the front seat asked how he was supposed to get home. I called operations with that question and they said he could ride home in the colonel’s jeep. We would be home in minutes and my copilot would get there much slower and who knows when they would actually get on the road because they would take all of the ground vehicles back as a convoy.

As my copilot got out and helped the colonel in, the other two flights made their takeoffs. As soon as the colonel was strapped in his seat I picked the aircraft up to a hover and started moving to get in position for takeoff. I called the other Cobra guys and told them to follow me as we were getting out of there. The tower was nice enough to clear us for takeoff from our current position and didn’t make us take all the time to hover to the runway.

As the lead aircraft I would be the one setting the airspeed and flight route. I called the flight and told them to leave their ECU’s, air conditioners, off because we were going to use all the power we had to race home. It was a little hot but we could take the heat for the less that ten minute flight home.

Lift pilots are trained to fly nice and slow and careful. They are programmed to fly eighty knots. Scout pilots seem to come from the same mold and most of them fly at eighty knots. Cobra pilots on the other hand are a bit more aggressive. If the aircraft will fly faster than why not fly faster? If we have the power we fly at one hundred and twenty knots and if we have more power we fly at one hundred forty or forty-five knots (depending on the altitude, outside temperature, weight of the aircraft). We had the power, with ECU’s turned off; to fly at least one hundred forty-five knots and we went for it.

In only a few minutes we caught up with the lift helicopters and went by them. Just a minute or two more and we caught the scout helicopters and went past them. We were going to be the first in the fuel station! I was sure of it now!

There we were blasting along on our way past the barracks and offices on our way to the fuel station and flight line when Colonel Wall said, “I want to be dropped off at my office”. His office was down low on our right side and we were cutting through the air at one hundred forty-five knots. There was a small helipad for one helicopter next to his office. I sure didn’t want to stop there but he was the commander. I made a radio call to the Cobra flight and told them I was breaking off to land at the squadron commander’s office and that they should continue on and head home.

The Army considers anything over a thirty-degree angle of bank an aerobatic maneuver and it is normally not authorized. The only way to stop at the colonel’s office as we were flying almost over top of it and to not go out over the housing area and get in trouble, was to make a steep turn. Myself, being one that kind of enjoys steep turns, and also feeling that the colonel put me in this pickle by not telling me he wanted to land at his office, I thought the steep turn would be fun.

I broke hard right and laid “The Princess” (the name of my helicopter, number 22705) on her side in an almost ninety-degree angle of bank. We were looking through the top of the canopy as we circled around his office. The blades were popping as around and around we went and down and down we came. It took two complete circles around the office to get rid of one hundred forty-five knots of airspeed and five hundred feet of altitude to land. Staying in the tight circles had kept us out of the way of the scout and lift helicopters as they flew by. As we completed the second circle I rolled the helicopter level just as we sat down on the helipad. In my eyes the approach had been a work of art. I couldn’t have been happier on how it turned out and most people never get to have a sweet ride like that. This had not been some senior citizen ride in which it would feel like we never left the ground. This had been a real Cobra ride. Although we didn’t get to shoot anything it had been a fun ride.

Colonel Wall said nothing as he un-strapped to get out of the helicopter. I reduced the speed of the engine and rotor so he could open the canopy door and off he went. He never looked back, nor waved, nor thanked me for getting him quickly to his office much less the fun ride. I thought that was a little rude! I guessed he must have been anxious to get to his office.

Colonel Wall never asked to ride in a Cobra after that time. I have always wondered why he had asked to ride in one that day. Did he want to look cool and fly away in the coolest helicopter while the film crew looked on? Or did he want to check me out and see if I knew how to fly a Cobra. (This ride did happen after the numerous other encounters I had had with him.) Or did he feel he had had the best ride he would ever have and so any future rides would disappoint him? I never knew the answer. But he and I could both look back and know that once, just once, he had a real ride in a Cobra.

Then there was nothing to do but sit in The Princess and wait for my copilot to catch up with me. After about thirty minutes he arrived and we headed off to the fuel station, which, was empty of all other helicopters. After refueling we flew to the parking area where again we found that everyone else had left. Over the weekend I couldn’t help but think of the ride Colonel Wall had had and the fun it was going to be to talk and joke with the other Cobra pilots about it.

There are times we better to understand what we are getting ourselves into. Sometimes we ask for things and don’t really know what it is that we are asking for. And sometimes when we change what we are asking for at the last minute we don’t know what that request will require. I’m sure Colonel Wall thought he knew what he was asking for when he asked to ride back in a Cobra and then when the surprise requirement to land at his office came up it changed everything. It’s best to know the game before you jump in unless you like surprise rides!