Would You Like Me To Shut Your Door for You, Sir?

Back in the good old days when I joined the Army, things didn’t have keys. All of the military jeeps and trucks didn’t require an ignition key to start and run them. There was just a switch. So to prevent them from being stolen a heavy piece of chain was run from the floor up to the steering wheel and a padlock placed on it. Likewise none of the Army’s helicopters had a key except the little civilian models purchased for training. The keys were always left in those helicopters except when some wise-guy students tricked others into removing them.

Army helicopters were parked on airfields or airports where there was token security and it was felt no one was crazy enough to try to fly one unless he was a helicopter pilot. That seemed to work pretty well for quite a while. Then the story was that a crew chief (crew chiefs are not authorized to fly nor have they been trained to fly helicopters) stationed at a base near Washington, DC, got upset about something and decided to take a helicopter and crash into the White House. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your political views about who was in the White House at the time, he didn’t make it. The story line had him making a takeoff and then crashing well short of getting to the White House.

As should be expected everything changed because of that one incident. All Army helicopters suddenly had keys installed in them. The doors were to be locked and a key system installed so they could not be started without the key. And true to the wise nature of the military, the “ignition” key was installed in the most inconvenient place they could find. In the Cobra that place was at the base of the collective (the stick operated by the left hand).

Soon after the keys were first installed we made a wonderful discovery. The key could be turned to the “on” position and then removed. That allowed us to get a key, turn the switch “on”, remove the key and turn it back into the operations people who controlled the keys. Then we could go for days without asking for the key again. But after a bit we got brand new helicopters and the new ones would not allow the key to be removed when the switch was in the “on” position. That meant that every time we were going to start a helicopter we had to go to operations and sign for the key.

At the end of each day, flight operations was responsible to make certain they had all of the helicopter keys in order to lock them up in a security box. That worked well until one night one of the Cobra pilots forgot to turn a key in at the end of the day and went home. Operations personnel looked in the helicopter for the key but it wasn’t there. There was a delay as they waited for the pilot to get home so he could be told to come back to base with the key that was in his pocket so it could be secured. All of that was done and no helicopter was stolen.

In the troop formation the next morning all of the pilots were warned about not forgetting to take the keys back to flight operations. After the normal morning meetings I headed out to do my job. There was a Cobra platoon and I worked with them, flew with them, stood with them in formation, but as a Cobra instructor pilot I was really under the supervision of the operations officer. He was my boss. All three of the instructor pilots in the troop worked for the operations officer. All of the other pilots were under the platoon leaders. The unit had done that because the instructor pilots were responsible to administer evaluation flights (check rides) to all of the pilots in the platoons. The troop commander didn’t want the instructor pilots, working for their respective platoon leaders, to feel pressured to give their platoon leader a passing grade on a check ride if they didn’t deserve it. Hence, the platoon leaders were not their bosses. So my boss that wrote my report card was the operations officer who had waited for the Cobra pilot to return the key the night before.

After the morning formation that day where we were all told what a wicked thing had happened the night before making the flight operations officer wait almost an hour to go home, I headed for the flight line for the days work. The task I was supposed to do that day was to administer an evaluation ride to one of the Cobra pilots. After linking up with the pilot we proceeded to flight operations and started filling out the required paperwork to fly.

Upon completing the paperwork we presented it to the flight operations sergeant and requested the required key. The sergeant told us that the flight operations officer had told him not to issue any keys to the Cobra pilots that day. It seemed the operations officer was still angry about the delayed return of the key the night before. The pilots of the other two types of helicopters in the unit could fly but not the Cobra pilots.

Like lots of other organizations, the Army is really good at over reacting and punishing everyone for the mistake of one. I tried to reason and use logic with the sergeant. I reminded him that I actually worked for the operations officer and that I had been assigned by the operations officer to administer the evaluation ride. Nothing worked. Then I instructed the sergeant to go into the operations officer’s office and tell him that it was Mr. Karn, who worked directly under his supervision, and not the fellow who had forgotten to turn in the key, who was asking for the key. I was still told, “No keys for Cobra pilots today”.

Maintaining a cool attitude I told the other pilot that we would go out to the helicopter and prepare the helicopter for flight. Getting a Cobra ready to fly takes a good period of time because the pilots are supposed to look at everything on the helicopter to make sure it is in good shape. When an instructor pilot is giving an evaluation ride this turns into a really long ordeal. The instructor tests the pilot’s knowledge of everything on the helicopter. What is this and what does it do? When does it do this or that? This test normally goes on for two hours or more.

After the pilot and I had finished the game of “what is this and what does it do”, I told the pilot to wait on the flight line while I went to operations and got the helicopter’s key. I felt if the operations officer didn’t see any of the wicked Cobra pilots except the one that worked for him he would soften and give me a key. And certainly by now the operations officer must have cooled off and would be reasonable enough to give me a key.

When reaching flight operations I quietly asked the operations sergeant if the operations officer had cooled down and was issuing keys to Cobra pilots. He reported that nothing had changed. There was nothing now to do but to go in and see the flight operations officer myself.

I told the sergeant that I was going in to see the operations officer myself to appeal my case. When I approached the door of the operations officer I said, “Sir, may I see you for a moment”? He replied, “Sure, come in”. I entered the room and saluted giving the appropriate greeting.

He seemed calm as he said, “Sit down. What’s on your mind”? This was a time for my diplomatic side to come out. I started with reminding him that I worked for him and that he had assigned me to give the pilot an evaluation ride that day. My appeal concluded with, “Sir, I wasn’t the one that accidentally took a key home. May I have key so I can complete my assigned work?”

It was hard for me to believe his reply would be, “No! Right now I don’t like Cobra pilots and anyone who flies Cobras is not going to get a key. Maybe tomorrow I’ll let you fly”. I couldn’t help but make one more appeal and I said again, “Sir, this is Mr. Karn. I work for you. I’m just trying to do the job I was assigned. I didn’t take a key home, why punish me”? Again he said, “No! No keys for Cobra pilots today. Please leave my office”.

At that point I stood, came to attention, saluted him and did an about face and went out the door. As I reached the door I stopped, turned around and said, “Sir, would you like me to shut your door for you”? Normally his office door was open but there were some other pilots out in flight operations and I thought he might not want to be disturbed by their requesting Cobra keys that day. He replied, “Yes. Good idea. Please shut my door”.

His office and the flight operations offices were in an old World War II wooden building. The doors were not built with locks. Offices like his were locked with a clasp and padlock. As I shut the door I noticed the clasp and open padlock hanging on the doorframe. After quietly shutting the door I even more carefully and quietly swung the clasp around and placed the padlock on it locking his office door. He was now safely locked in his office. If he needed time to cool off he could do it locked in his office like any other kid that gets sent to their room for being a jerk

From there I walked to the flight line and told the pilot that we would have to try to do the flight evaluation the next day because we weren’t going to be able to get a key that day. After doing that I walked by the Cobra platoon office and told the pilots there that I was done for the day and if anyone came looking for me I would be at my home. It was mid forenoon but I could take no more foolishness that day. My “fun meter” was pegged out!

About 6 p.m. I called the operations officer at his home. I told him I would like to talk with him and would like to come to his home if that was acceptable to him. He was a single guy and I knew I wouldn’t be interrupting any family time. After telling him what I wanted he said, “Sure come on over. I’d love to talk with you”.

Fifteen minutes later I was at his home. As soon as we sat down I opened with, “Sir, I’m the one that locked you in your office. I apologize but I was pretty unhappy about not being allowed to do my job”. Without any hesitation he said, “Yea, I figured it was you”. Remaining calm I again said, “It was not me that took a key home. It was my job to give an evaluation ride today and not having a key prevented me from doing the job you had assigned me. You had not said to cancel the ride or reschedule it so I was under marching orders to give the ride and then you stopped me from doing the job you had assigned me. I know locking you in your office was wrong but it was a lot like not letting one person do their job because another person made a mistake”.

After sitting quietly for a few moments at the completion of my apology and explanation he said, “Well, I think we both over reacted a bit today. Let’s call it even”. We chatted for a few more minutes and then just before leaving I asked him how he got out of his office. He told me that he had to remove the key from the ring of keys and slide it under the door to the operations sergeant who then unlocked the door. I had to ask out of curiosity.

The operations officer was my supervisor and would soon be writing a report on my job performance. If an officer gets one bad report his career might survive and it might not. If he gets two he should immediately start filling out a resume for another career. I didn’t have any bad reports to that point but I knew I was probably going to get my first one now. To my great surprise when I received my report a few months later he had given me one hundred points out a possible one hundred. I always wondered, though I never asked, if I received the one hundred points for locking him in his office or for being man enough to go to his home to tell him I was the one that did it and apologizing for my behavior.

There are many times in life when we don’t agree with something someone says or does. And there are times we do things that aren’t good or wise or agreeable to others. We are all human beings and we make mistakes but the most important thing is that when we do something stupid or wrong, we should to own up to it. Most folks respect people that admit when they do something stupid, wrong, or that they don’t agree with. Even soldiers often greatly respect good honorable enemy soldiers but no one respects the person that will not admit their mistakes or stand up for what they have done. You may not agree with them but ya’ gotta’ respect the person who stands up no matter the consequences to take the good or the bad for his or her actions!